To Lose My Soul
by TheSoulOfDistrict4Dauntless
Summary: What if Ian was put in a position of choosing Human or Soul 'what side are you on' What will he decide when Wanda, Ian, Jared & Mel are capture by a human rebel base


**To Lose a Soul**

It was the day of our annual raid, Cheetos, toiletries and some clothes if we were lucky were the list for the day.

After meeting Nate and Burns a few months ago we felt more confidence in venturing out to the world of the souls in smaller groups, the world that should be mine, it still felt strange to refer to souls as them and humans as we, but I liked it. So this raid consisted of just me, Ian, Jared and Mel.

"Do you ever wonder...?" Mel began in almost a whisper, I was not quite sure if she had even spoken.

"Hmm?" Said Jared averting his eyes from the road for the first time since we had left the cave to look at Mel. Losing her had been too much for him to bear and he was not prepared to feel that way again. She was the only person that could pull him out of his strict concentration on a raid.

"What if it wasn't Wanda, what if they had put someone like that seeker in me, what if I hadn't been strong enough to save you?" She only then met Jared's eyes, with a single tear sliding down her cheek.

Jared's face looked pained, he didn't want to think like that "What brought this on?"

"You never know how much time you'll have, they got me once, they could get me again"

Jared shifted in his seat so that he could caress Mel's cheek and gently wipe away the tear with his strong fingers, whilst still being able to remain driving inconspicuously.

"never again will I lose you Melanie Stryder, never, and plus by some miracle we do have Wanda" he shot a gratified smile in my direction, to the back seat where I was sat with my head resting on Ian's shoulder.  
"They'll never get us with her on our side"

I tried to feel comforted the way Mel seemed to have been by Jared's words, but I couldn't help the sting I felt inside at the idea of being on a side, the implication I was a traitor, which I was.

Ian seemed to notice my unease and gentle trailed hid fingers through my hair, making me shiver.

"We'd all be lost without you, we probably wouldn't have even realised it but our humanity would be long gone" he said leaning into me so that his lips brushed my ear as he spoke.  
He then leaned away from me revealing a sad almost vacant expression, on his usually perfect smiley

face.  
"I proved that the day I met you" he looked down disgusted with himself.

He was of course referring to the time he almost strangled me to death. I flinched reflexively. His teeth clenched in response and he almost spat his next words.  
"I'd already become a monster" then his tone grew softer and his hand was back playing with my hair "but you saved me Wanda, I didn't deserve it, but you saved me, because that's what you do, you save people. Because you're kind and gentle and human, all the things I will never be"

"all the things that you are my Ian" he had to know, he was the most human out of anyone I'd ever met. He didn't seem convinced but a smile started to play on his lips at the words 'my Ian' , he scooped me up onto his knee; An easy effort considering my new Host's small size, and looked into my eyes.

I was suddenly lost in the deepest most beautiful blue I have ever known, not even eight planets could match anything close, not the planet of the flowers with all its vibrant colours, not even this world if not for Ian.

His lips on my ear again brought me back to attention. "I love you Wanda, my beautiful soul"  
Then his lips met mine and I brushed my fingers through his hair. His arms were around my waist, clinging me to him as if I might just suddenly vanish into thin air if he didn't keep me very close. He sometimes looked at me like that, like he couldn't believe I'm real.

He then rested his forehead against mine and sighed, "I'm so glad you decided to wander on this planet"

I giggled, a common occurrence in this easily amused host, Ian seemed to like it though, the smile that stretched across his face now made my stomach tingle.  
"It's what I do" I said returning his smile.

Suddenly Jared screeched the brakes of the car to stop, jerking me forward.


End file.
